Bostafu Story
by Miss Beyblade
Summary: The Karakura Heroes are videotaping Kon's pov as he writes a hillarious story about Rukia and Ichigo. Oneshot
1. Bostafu's ridiculous story

**This just a one-shot of Kon-sama's diary. Note that the sentence will change to Kon's pov and then to the setting or or when it just needs to be literate. Also, if possible read it with dramatized tone.**

The postbox was empty today. No mails, no packages. It hasn't arrived yet. Yuzu sighed as she went to the living room. The tape was supposed to have arrived today. Karin, who sat lazily on the sofa, looked at her knowingly. She slurped the excess ice blended mocha in her hand. Since her brother came back, the Karakura kids saw each other less and less and even Don Kanonji stopped appearing, since Ichigo's been handling the 'bad spirits.'

Ichigo stumbled his way down the stairs as he saw Yuzu's worried face. "Something wrong, Yuzu?" He asked, taking a sip of the soup left on the table.

"It's nothing Onii-chan, it's just that I couldn't find Bostafu," A tear, formed at the corner of her eyes. "….and Don kanonji-sama promised-" Her voice broke, when Karin immediately place her hands over her mouth.

"Yuzu.. I hear the phone ringing upstairs, let's go get it!" She cried pulling her sister obsessively up the staircase. "Karin-chan.." Yuzu said through her hands. Ichigo heard a door slammed and locked. He turned to the phone beside him and shrugged, ignoring his sisters' unusual behavior.

The door bell rang, just as he finished the soup on the table. He went to the hallway and looked up to the rooms, noting on how quiet it was. He opened the door, to reveal a package on the doormat. It was a small package, wrapped in brown paper. There was no address on the package, nor was there a name on it He eyed it suspiciously and made his way back to the living room, ripping the paper. It was tape with the name, 'The girl who lived in the closet'.

Instantly he turned on the TV and opened the tape.

The image of Yuzu came first to TV 'Welcome to Kon's diary also known as the Karukura King!' she cried cutely, as the camera focused to the stuffed animal behind her. A spotlight was directed at him as the background darkened. A soft, sad background song was played, as he got up, with his hands behind him. A wind blew swiftly across him, letting the camera focus more towards his grim lion-like face. "So now, I will tell you the story about the girl who lived in Ichigo's closet," He whispered, pulling out his hands, to a dark haired doll, closely resembling Rukia.

The background changed to a hand-drawn downtown backdrop. Rukia, also known as Nee-sama was a depressing girl from the slums of soul society. This was the place where drunkards ruled the nights and girls swarmed the city in hot tops and short skirts pleasuring every guy, with their- ("Karakura King!" The background crew shrieked) Gomen, but you get the idea. It was a ruthless place, wild and exposed. Everyday, she trembled in fear, hoping that one day to leave the city and proceed to become a Shinigami.

During her childhood, she met with a snob, hot-headed guy named Renji. Another doll appears in the scene with red-hair and distorted face. The guy was the ugly, yet Rukia being as kind hearted as she was, she considered his offer to become his girlfriend. Sworn by their fate, they both became a Shinigami. It was that night when they were accepted that Renji asked her to stay one night in his room. Slowly, she followed her to his bed, where they- ("Karakura king! If you do that one more time! I will pull the stuffings out of you!" A red-headed boy screamed, as the camera swayed at random directions, to show Kon's bruised expression.) Gomen, gomen.

The camera moved again to the dolls, which were hugging each other. The backdrop, changed again, this time to the scene of the court. Okay, so they just hug each other that night… in happiness. So, as their busy lives moved on with their Shinigami duty, Rukia met with this other ugly, snob, named 'Kuchiki Byakuya'. A doll with long black hair appears next to her in a white and black Shinigami uniform. On their first meet, Byakuya was instantly attracted to Nee-sama's beauty and elegance. This is when he decided to marry her, but was stopped by her duty when she called upon to Karukara city, to protect it against all hollows.

"Bwahahaha," Kon, Yuzu and Don Kanonji laughed, crossing their arms across their chest.

This is when the true story begins. It was a quiet, yet deadly night, as the wind blew across her face. An attack from a hollow occurred, near the Kurosaki clinic. The camera turned to the blacked-painted toy robot, which stood in front of the Rukia doll, which was in her Shinigami outfit. The hollow shrieked in pain, casting a deadly blow towards her arms. The hollow was too fast, injuring her before she could avoid the attack. She was covered in blood. Squirts of red paint were dripped on the setting. At this point, out of all the dumb, obnoxious guys to have ever arrived in Nee-sama's life, he came to save her. Kurosaki Ichigo. An orange haired doll was dropped into the scene. The doll had a thick furrowed brow, which could easily be noticed from afar.

Before the fight, Rukia transferred her powers to Ichigo, giving him all of her Shinigami powers. In one slash, the hollow was defeated and Rukia was forced to stay in Ichigo's closet in order to train him into defeating more of the hollows to come. Day by day, she was pushed into a living hell, until the arrival of the dazzling, handsome, yet kind hearted KARAKURA KING, who swore to protect Rukia against all evil. A miniature version of Kon, made its way to Rukia's stuffed chest. My mission however was delayed by some misunderstandings in soul society, where the red haired buy and black haired guy were concocting a devious scheme to prevent my love from Nee-sama.

Every night I would pleasure her with my love and care. I blossom her as her womanhood… (A crash sound was heard from the background as the camera fell, breaking the screen. Information deleted.)

The window to the room opened as a confused, stuffed teddy jumped into the room. "Hey Ichigo man, you alright?" he greeted, wincing as Ichigo's spirit force was rising.

"Bankai!"


	2. Disclaimer

**Disclaimer: Although I posted it my dear, BELOVED sister lilcherrywolf is actually the one who does this (yes she is forcing me right now >. ) but I did it for the love of all of you reviewers, also since she got her butt kicked by the bleachportal for not accepting her fanfic (kidding about the butt-kick, more like rejected, kidding again, there no such, thing, but honestly it is in my opinion) give the credit to her please, so she'll kick my butt afterwards and claim that she's the queen. But please, give some credit to me as well, I wasted my breath about the stupid idea of Renji and Rukia AND now she shortens so that people won't get bored (But really, people would prefer my idea too, and yet the Renji and Rukia moment are the misunderstanding loveness of the new century, Kira and Momo said so themself >. ) Also, my finger hurtst from writing so just in case when I don't get on the computer because of finger cramps blame my dear and BELOVED sister for MAKING me write this.**


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